Last year, on January 1st, I wrote about my entire 2011. I promised myself that I'd write a 2012 post exactly a year later, but I obviously forgot about that until now
I was wrong about Nick. So ridiculously wrong that I can't even begin to describe it in words.
But I must, for the three or so people who might read this sometime.
(probably just for my own peace of mind)
Nick was everything I wanted in a man. He was smart, talented, sexy, exciting. He was charismatic and charming. But those things were his downfall. Nick had many problems he didn't tell me about. He was into drugs, he never planned on getting rid of his fiance, he was a pathological liar, and he also was a drug dealer. Nick however, told me that he was a member of the mafia and that he'd shot someone. It took me a long time to figure out the truth, that he was just a lying scumbag coke head that was using me.
Well, actually, I never found out why he picked me out of the blue and swept me off my feet just to dump me in a swamp three months later, so much farther off track of life than I had been before I met him. I never found that out. I don't even know if he ever really loved me, or just my body. He broke up with me because he thought I was annoying. I'm glad he did. He broke the spell that was holding me captive.
While I was dating Nick, I went to visit Josh, and Max. Max told me that he was completely over me, and I was a little devastated, since part of me still had feelings for him. He told me about this other girl who he really liked, but he wasn't sure if she was interested in him. We kissed and made up, and that was my closure. In my brain, that was the end, forever. It was done.
Or so I thought.
A month or so after Nick and I broke up, I hosted my 17th birthday party, this time, at my house. It was the best one yet, for multiple reasons. Max and Josh and Ethan all drove up from New Jersey to attend, and the entire night Max was acting really weird. He kept picking me up and just teasing me. Flirting. I didn't recognize it for what it was until we were up in my room. I was showing him this Nodachi that my best friend had found in his attic. Max is really into Samurai and things like that, so he was fascinated by it. After I put it away, he told me he had another gift for me that was in his bag, in the room everyone was to be sleeping in. We walked down the hallway, and then he turned around and walked me back towards my room again. I was very confused. And there, in the doorway to my bedroom, he kissed me.
I was like, what.
He told me that the third gift was if I said yes to him asking me out. He mentioned as an aside that the other girl never worked out and blah blah blah but I was to be his. I freaked out. In a good way. And then, finally, we legitimately started dating. Facebook official and everything! It was an amazing night. I was really surprised, like, reeeeeeeally shocked. And I guess I had a right to be.
A week later, he left me, because "I can't hold up a long distance relationship and I'm going to end up hurting you and I care too much" and all of that. I thought it was noble. I was so off base.
In June, Josh graduated high school, and I was invited to his graduation party. It was a good party, except for the fact that Max was there.
With his new girlfriend.
Who was wearing the exact same bracelet that Max had given me.
Who happened to be the girl who hadn't wanted him before I got him.
You want to know exactly what REALLY happened? I was Max's second choice. And as soon as that girl who'd rejected him before saw that we were dating, suddenly she wanted him. So he left me for her. Just like that. And she knew the whole story, and tried to sympathise with me. It didn't work.
So I dumped a bucked of ice water on him and everyone laughed, including his new girlfriend.
A few weeks after that, I headed to my new computer camp, Emagination. I was the oldest camper there, and one of two girls, first session, who were staying overnight. My roommate's name was Kelly. She was wonderfully, perfectly, ordinary.
Our camper group was perhaps the oldest group in the camp. Within it, I met Taylor, Nick, and Enio, among others. Nick stood out to me. He looked like a 15 year old Jim Morrison. He was extremely thin, and kinda tall. He was loud and silly all the the time. I couldn't help but be attracted to him. Skinny guys with long hair are my weakness. The only problem was that Kelly liked him, too. Nick also liked both of us. Kelly and I both decided that he wasn't worth fighting over, so we didn't bother with him. After first session ended, I made my move. We kissed a few times, but nothing more came of it. He was really immature and dramatic and I recognized pretty quickly that it would never work out with us. I wasn't even that upset.
Second session meant the leaving of Kelly and Taylor, who I actually grew extremely close to. Our similar mindsets on everything made us quick friends. This session was much bigger. There were many more girls, including one of my new roommates, , and an awesome lady program assistant . My other roommate was Maddie, who was actually dating Enio. Her and I got along really well. Another kid who I was friendly with first session was Matt. He and I became best friends second session. Matt was a little 13 year old flaming gay boy, (who actually is featured in a few of my photos, along with Taylor.) He and I would hang out all the time and watch documentaries on Netflix in my room.
I always got in trouble for everything second session. Everything was ridiculously strict. I met so many amazing people, though, so it kind of balanced it all out. Camp in itself was a massive adventure that would be truly too long to type in this year long Journal so I'll hold off on that one for a while.
There were two more boys who caught my eye, Ben and Aidan. Ben was fleeting. He was very shy and funny, taller than me, and kinda cute. It might have lasted longer if Aidan hadn't come along.
Now let me tell you about Aidan.
When I saw him for the first time, I thought "That kid is way to cool to be friends with me"
Evidently, he had thought the same thing. It made us both shy and we'd hardly ever said a word to each other. But towards the end of camp, we started talking A LOT. And he eventually told me that he had liked me for a while and I was completely surprised because, for once, I hadn't seen it coming from a mile away. And he was just my type. I quickly extracted myself from Ben, albiet awkwardly, and Aidan and I started dating on the last day of camp.
I'm still dating him, over six months later.
He lives four hours away from me, but Aidan has been the most normal relationship I've ever been in. It's bliss. No crazy people or ridiculous twists or anything like that. He's honest with me and he loves me and treats me right and I'm actually happy when I'm with him and asdfghjkl I could go on an on.
I'm going to college in Boston in the fall, and I'll be much close to him that way, and closer to my new friends from camp, too. I also plan on working at Emagination.
Aidan....... Oh Aidan. I know I'm really not getting into it much but I can't really explain it. He's my best friend. He's everything to me. I feel at home when I'm with him and his family. We have so much fun together and he's always there for me... I spend Christmass and New Years with him and have never felt more complete. No more Nicks and Cewans and Maxs for me.
2012 was better then 2011, and I'm sure 2013 will be even better.